Dr. Sapana Sharma Saraswat
Govt.V.Y.T.PG.Autonomous College Durg (C.G.)
H.I.G. 1/392 New Borsi Colony Durg (C.G.)
Preamble
There has been a lot of buzz about 'Live in relationships' these days. The recent enactment of law against domestic violence has opened up one debate of Live-in Relationship. Media got a new hot subject for debates. News channels are providing platform for experts to discuss this issue; even common peoples who are far from such things are too discussing this issue with great interest. But, there are still many questions about it which are left unasked. Are people actually living-in? What about the societal and parental pressures? What if it doesn't workout? Here is what we find out.
India is known for its moral and traditional values. According to age old Indian ethics, man and woman are not allowed to live together unless they are married. But with the changing times and heavy influence of movies and television soaps, Globalization & MNC culture the modern youth are on the look out for their soul mates. In the process, they are trying out various concepts prevalent in Western countries, including live-in relationships.
Indian culture still considers the concept sacrilegious. Yet, the trend seems to have caught on. And it is more prevalent among people going abroad for studies or work. These young men and women who are away from home without any family or local guardians are forced into such arrangements by circumstances. Apart from emotional support, they get to pool up finances for accommodation. They are not hesitant as the country encourages an open culture and there is no family to question them on the issue
While some people don’t believe in marriages, others prefer live-in relationships to determine the compatibility of the mate before marriage. They thought Live-in relationships help a person to decide before committing to marriage. It, thus, serves as a prerequisite to marriage. One can always walk out, if the partner is not compatible or has other major issues. A working woman gets accommodation and security, which is very crucial in big cities. There will also be some savings as the expenses are shared between the two people. Besides, help is always available in case of any distress.
Live-in relationships often lead to intimacy. This further helps in knowing and understanding each other and paving the way for marriage. There are many examples of colleagues who started out just living together for ‘genuine’ reasons and ended up marrying each other.
But what would be the consequences if one walks out after a long live-in relationship? Generally, the Indian society considers such a relationship a sin. However, with liberal lifestyles in urban pockets especially in metros, nobody bothers to intrude in one’s life.
Proposed Amendment
The Maharashtra State Government has proposed an amendment on October 8th of this year in the Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code as per the Recommendations of the Justice (Retd) S Mallimath committee so that the definition of the word 'wife' includes a woman living with a man as his wife for a reasonably long period.
The proposal-yet to become law-is to amend the definition of 'wife' in Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code (Cr.P.C) so that any woman who has been living "as a wife' ' with a man for a reasonably long time whether legally or not-can get maintenance from him. This proposal will allow any woman living as a 'wife' to claim maintenance from the husband will provide relief to numerous women who otherwise become abandoned and can even be driven to penury. This Law will protect A woman who thinks she is married to a man and has been living as his wife, but finds that the marriage is void due to him already having a previous, legal wife The proposed law essentially aims to provide relief to women who have been 'married ' to men who had claimed to be 'unmarried' or 'divorced' at the time of such a marriage. Such couples live as 'husband and wife' and it is usually only later, when the man seeks to dump the woman, that he pronounces that he is legally still married to his 'first' wife and the other woman is really only a mistress. By no stretch of the imagination is the relief intended for those in live-in relationships. A woman in such a relationship is not termed a 'legitimate wife' and given wife's status; However, women in live-in relationships are protected under the Domestic Violence Act and can approach the court for relief.
"The scope of the proposed amendment is very restricted and cannot be generalised.” By diluting the definition of 'wife' under only Section 125 of the Cr.P.C, the government is attempting to prevent vagrancy and the condition of women in such cases. The amendment does not recognise live-in relationships or polygamy. On the contrary, it would discourage polygamy and so-called live-in relationships. It would discourage a man from denying a marriage, since this would not absolve his liability to pay maintenance.
The proposed amendment is limited to ensuring that a woman who has lived "as a wife' ' and can't support herself independently gets maintenance from the man who has been her husband. The reason the state is amending Section 125 is because currently only a legally wedded wife can get maintenance from her husband through a court order.
The purpose is to do away with the strict proof of marriage to be shown by the women in maintenance proceedings under Section 125 of Cr.P.C when her marital status is denied by the husband. "If evidence shows that the woman lived with a man for a reasonably long period as a wife and even if the marriage is not strictly proved through documents, the woman would be entitled to claim maintenance. This would prevent her from vagrancy and destitution. The amendment fixes the man with the liability to pay her maintenance in such situations and he won't be able to shirk from the responsibility on the grounds that she is not his legally wedded wife. At present, as the law stands, the man simply denies the marriage and walks away.
There are so many cases we have come to know, That a married man marries a woman by declaring he is unmarried.
There are so many cases, we have come to know,
• That a man, who has wife and children in his native village and after settle down in city he got married again there .As in case of a famous Bollywood singer, who had a wife in his native place in Bihar and again he got married in Mumbai declaring himself unmarried. For quite some time this case was a highlight of various News channels.
• A man marries a woman by claiming to have divorced his first wife, but he actually hasn't.
• A man marries a woman but there are no documents to prove it; or a woman lives as a man's wife and has no papers to prove it.
• Live-in relationships in which the woman knows she has not been living as a wife.
Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code gives summary remedy to dependents claiming maintenance in a criminal court. Dependents include wives, parents and children. To claim maintenance one has to prove that she/he is unable to maintain or support him/herself financially. For example, a wife who is employed/earning can't claim maintenance.
The person from whom the maintenance is claimed must have sufficient means.
As of now, under this section a 'wife' means only a legally wedded wife, but since 1974 the section recognises the rights of an illegitimate child to claim maintenance.
Since 2002 there has been no upper limit on the amount of maintenance, but it has to be reasonable according to the case.
Objective
In view of the recent amendment proposed by the Maharashtra Government for protecting the rights of a woman who is into a live in relationship .The present paper looks in to various aspects related to prevailing socio cultural practising, conjugal relationship, family status of women, rights of women and children and other dimensions involved there in. This paper tries to focus a socio legal on various prospective of this phenomenon in modern Indian society.
When the law for the protection of women from domestic violence comes into force, it will extend equal benefit to women in live-in relationships as it will to married women. In other words, this means an official recognition to live-in relationships.
Under the new proposal, the Government has defined violence against women in such a way that it makes no distinction between a woman who is married and one who is in a live-in relationship.
The law is not just about domestic violence. It's a paradigm shift in the way the state has looked at the man-woman relationship.
Accordingly, from now on there will be strict provisions for violence against women, whether within a marriage or a live-in relationship; verbal abuse and wife bashing will be considered an offence which may invite penal provision of one year in jail and Rs 20,000 fine and, over and above of all this, none of these offences will be bail able.
It's a proposal that will provide a relief to all women who may have suffered from domestic violence. But at the same time, it might throw up some questions related to morality.
"Even in the past, the Supreme Court held live-in relationship as legal. But we are not getting into the moral part of it. We will just look at the legal part.
Methodology
We have used the analytical methods for this study. We had analysed the facts by using primary and secondary data. Primary data was obtained from a questioner.
Findings
Finding out about partner, before making the final commitment, is often the reason behind this relationship. Among the professionals, the MNC work culture with long working hours provides the rationale for couples opting for living together.
Sociologists attribute the increase in live-in relationships among the young couples to lack of patience and the inability to adjust to each other. "Everybody has a pre-conceived notion about marriage and now-a-days the couple wants to walk out of it if it doesn't work out the way they had imagined. Due to the financial independence of both partners, none of them are willing to compromise. There are N nos. of arguments regarding the difficulties of a failed marriage. How people are forced to endure failed marriages due to non-availability of alternatives, social stigma etc. etc. Some of the proponents of live-in relationship give this example to uphold the usefulness of live-in relationship.
The extension of the above said act to the live-in relationship itself is an acceptance of the fact that the live-in relationship does not help anyone from the abuse by a partner. Rather it counters the basic premises of the live-in relationship. It is a matter of serious review how the live-in relationship can be affected by domestic violence. Because we generally presume that this course of life is chosen by individuals with stronger mental set up. It is a matter of debate how they cannot get away from the relationship. Anyway let’s not argue on that, as looks like, it is a fact that this relationship also is subject to domestic violence.
The second argument is that the Live-in relationship can be used as a pre-partial arrangement to find out the compatibility of the partners. Which is a fallacy? The very essence of marriage is understanding and adjustment, which cannot be expected from the Live-in relationship. By accepting to a live-in relationship the couple agrees that they are not in favor of any adjustments and understandings.
One more point I would like to stress upon is that; it is also a kind of mental insecurity of the persons involved. Some of them may try it, as it is the in-thing to do, some of them to show their independence and some of them are just to follow a hep lifestyle followed by who and who of the society.
But I believe that if a couple decides to have a live-in relationship instead of marriage for the convenience, it should be fine. In today’s life some people have different meaning of life. A carefree life where personal comfort and career is more important than relationship. Some people may find it more comfortable to have a relationship without the sanctity of marriage. Sometime back it was reported in one of the magazines, that a substantial no. of urban populace are reluctant to take up the hassle of children. I may find it selfish but there is nothing wrong in that. Once the premises of the relationship are drawn out, any relationship would be good enough when both the parties agree to that. But let’s agree to that, instead of giving some other excuses like failed marriages etc. etc.
Here I would also like to talk about love marriage and arranged marriage. Here again it is statistically proved that love marriages are much more fragile than arranged marriages, which itself counters the argument that premarital relationship helps in finding compatible partners. The reason put forward are; in arranged marriages the individual normally do not like to break the marriage, due to social pressure and forced to endure the trauma. Which I find generally not to be true. Yes there are incidences, but if you analyze, the percentage should be very low. I feel the arranged marriages are much stronger because they have a wider support structure. There arises occasions when the couple find themselves incompatible, but with little nudge and support from the elders, they find ways of adjusting thus saving the marriage.
It is found that in most cases of Live-in-Relationship, the parents of the couple are not told about it. That is because, though such relations are acceptable to the youth, it is still far from being accepted among the older generation, which continues to believe in the institution of marriage.
Conclusion
By virtue of this amendment, woman would not need a strict proof of marriage for claiming maintenance, This was the reason the Justice (Retd) S Mallimath committee came up with this recommendation. The proposal-yet to become law-is to amend the definition of 'wife' in Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code (Cr.P.C) so that any woman who has been living "as a wife' ' with a man for a reasonably long time whether legally or not-can get maintenance from him. The proposed law essentially aims to provide relief to women who have been 'married ' to men who had claimed to be 'unmarried' or 'divorced' at the time of such a marriage. Such couples live as 'husband and wife' and it is usually only later, when the man seeks to dump the woman, that he pronounces that he is legally still married to his 'first' wife and the other woman is really only a mistress.
According to a study in the US, nearly 40% of women break up after a maximum of 10 years of living together with a man. It is quite rare for a live-in relationship to last a lifetime. The findings of a research conducted by the University of Warwick, United Kingdom, reveal that there was no trace of satisfaction among people enjoying live-in relations. The concept of risk sharing in a non-marital relationship was found to be negligible. In India, the trend has caught on only in the metros. It is still taboo in smaller cities and towns.
Still there are so many issues which may be resolved prior to legalise the Live-in-Relationship. Some of the major issues are:-
• There is no pre-written official proof that these two partners are actually in a Live in relationship. What if a person has more than one live-in relationship in last years, will the law consider the previous relationships as divorce.
• What if someone is already married and is just having an extra martial affair, now does he has two wives.
• What if an unmarried man has a secret affair with two different girls in different cities without their knowledge, will he now have two wives.
• If a live-in relationship couple decides to move out of Maharashtra state do they now suddenly lose their married status?
• Why a legally married woman and her children should pay for her husbands extra marital affair which is going to become legal after this amendment.
• This will additionally give another reason for couples not to marry who would have married otherwise. But what if they got separated after any dispute. There is no sense of responsibility in such kind of relations. In a legalised marriage, couples feel responsible and obligated to continue with the relationship.
• What will happen if a girl gets pregnant and gave birth to a child, will the child be treated fairly by our society? What will be the kid's Surname? Who will take the responsibility of child if they decide to go for new boy friend and girl friend?
• Are we in a way making prostitution both women and men as legal.
I live in Bhilai city which is one of the fastest growing city in India . It is an industrial town known for its academics as well. We had conducted a survey among the members of Bhilai club and Steel club. All the officers of Bhilai steel plant, Govt. organizations industrialists, academicians and other reputed people of Durg and Bhilai are the members of these reputed clubs. We put some questions about ‘live-in relationship’, and we got an overwhelming response. Here are the results
Sl.no Question Yes No
1. Should live in relationship legalize in India 8 92
2. Is a threat to marriage? 87 13
3. will legalizing living-in relationship protect a women rights 12 88
As our data shows that majority of the people say that there is no need to legalize live in relationship. By giving more legal rights to live-in partners we would just westernize our culture, which is absolutely wrong and we the Indians should not forget our own culture.
A large part of society still feels that this is a threat to the institution of marriage. What is love without commitment and if you are committed then why fear marriage. Marriage gives you the same flexibility of a live in relationship along with social acceptance. Live in relationships are for convenience and does not give any emotional security which is the essence of mental well being.
Moreover how can we protect the legal rights of a legally married woman if her husband starts living with another and later have kids with the other woman too? They can be protected legally but, the Indian Society, by and large, will never accept nor approve such relationships. Even the wards of such parents will curse them in their later life
Lastly in my opinion a live-in relationship should not be treated as marriage. Because in India marriage is belived to be ‘PAVITRA BANDHAN’ between a man and woman as well as a relationship between two families where as live-in relationship is only meant for convenience.
References:
1. Gaur Sanjay -2008 : ‘’Live –in-Relationship’’ Y king Books Jaipur
2. Aiyars Krishana Murthy : Law of Marriage, Maintenance, Separation & Divorce, Delhi Law House
3. Srinivasan:Special Marriage Act, 3rd Edn, Law Publishers India Pvt Ltd
4. Lal Batuk: Code of Criminal Procedure, 5th Edn. Delhi Law House
5. Devgan Aadesh Kumar (2008): Crime Against Women And Child : An Emerging Social Problem, Eastern Books Corp.
6. J. Meenakshi - 2007 : Women & New Social Order , Eastern Books Corp.
7. M. Shenoy – 2007:Domestic Violence : Issues & Perspectives, Eastern Books Corp.
8. Pandya, Rameshwari (Ed.) – 2007 Women in India - Issues, Perspectives and Solutions, Eastern Books Corp.
9. Shahida & Lalitha K. Sami (ed.) – 2007: Indian Women in Development Perspective, Eastern Books Corp.
10. Singh, A.N. -2001: Women Domestic Workers: Socio-Economic Lie , Eastern Books Corp.
New idea for many p ersons.
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